For teens or anyone else, anxiety is a normal reaction to stress. Things like tests, meeting new people, speaking in public, going on a date, and competing in sports can make us feel apprehensive. Some teens react more strongly to stressful situations than others. Even thinking about the situations may cause them great distress. A lot of teens take everything to extreme and make more out of the situation than what it is. They get upset over the small things and things that are not worth getting upset over. Teens need to learn how to cope with stressful situations and learn how to work things out. There are always family and friends to have as a support team that can be an advocate to talk to when needed. Teens need to learn to cope with all their problems instead of making a good situation bad.
All my life has been pretty great. Since Kindergarten I have gotten straight A’s, and was one of the “popular girls” in school. The one thing that people do not understand about anxiety is that anyone can have it. It is totally normal, whether you are a ditzy cheerleader or a nerdy math geek. Personally, my anxiety started when our school district changed and all the children in my grade had to go to a different school. When I started at the new school, I met a lot of new friends and everything was great, but for some reason I felt lonely, even though I was surrounded by friends. Over time, it got worse. I started hating going to school for some reason. I did not know why; I always had a pretty good time at school. Still, it got worse. It got so bad that my worrying led to throwing up. I was always tired and irritable around my family. I started to push away my best friends and hang out with my friends from dance class more often. Before I knew it, I could not stand being at school. I would start to get anxiety attacks and then leave the school, sometimes skipping for a whole day. I would get in tons of trouble, but finally I decided to tell my parents how I felt. They made me see psychiatrists, and psychologists and I got anti-anxiety medication. Still, I could not be at the school. My parents pulled me out and started home-schooling me, which was the last thing I wanted. I am a very social person, and the only time I was talking to my school friends was when they called, and half the time I ignored their phone calls, making excuses like “I was out” or “my answering machine was broken.” I couldn’t understand myself or why this was happening to me.
My parents decided I should take one class at my old school with my friends so that I could keep in touch. I chose socials, which was three days a week. Things started to get better. The medication was helping. I started seeing my friends a lot more. I had fewer panic attacks.
One day my dad yelled at me for a while, which really upset me. Then, to make it all even worse, while we were in the car he kept talking in his stupid, “I know everything and you’re just an insignificant kid” voice. He could not go one minute without making some sort of snide comment. When I was leaving the car to go into the school, I told him not to count on me staying, and he told me not to count on having a place to live anymore. When I went into the school, I went into the bathroom and cried my eyes out. I got myself all worked up after my dad was letting me have it and before I knew it I was having an anxiety attack. They are the worst possible feeling anyone can ever experience. Anxiety attacks start out like a tummy ache, like I am going to puke. Then I start to hyperventilate and shake. I start to feel like my body is too small to contain my heart and it feels like my body is closing in on my heart. It is hard to explain. My chest really hurts, like bad heartburn. I just needed to get out of there.
I walked to Starbucks and got a cup of coffee until I settled myself down. I felt like everybody was staring at me. Then when it was close to time for school to be finished, I walked back for my mother to pick me up. She was so angry with me for leaving the school like I did. I just knew she would say something like, “Kim, I think this is the anxiety talking.” I would always be so tempted to scream at her to just shut up already. I was always so embarrassed about the whole anxiety thing because I knew none of my friends would understand how I felt. I was sure the majority of people would just think I was some attention-seeking delinquent, which I certainly was not. I used to wish I was dead. I did not realize how fortunate I was. I would think about moving out all of the time because I despised my parents. I know now that what I perceived as verbal abuse was all because they loved me and all the things I was doing were making them stressed out and worried sick.
Sometimes the anxiety can come between friends and family, especially when they are being ignored and not being honest with them. A lot of teens find ways to cope with the high anxiety they feel. It is important to recognize the emotions, feelings and why the feelings are there and cope with them the best you can. Sometimes just admitting that a situation is stressful and being prepared to deal with it can reduce anxiety. If trying these simple measures still does not work with your anxiety, continue to Doctor with psychiatrists or psychologists
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